three years

by french in van

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French in Van: Clark, D, Matt, Ty


released August 20, 2013

album recorded, mixed, and mastered at Bung House in Lancaster, PA by Greg Knowles and the Monopoly Piece Mobile Unit. August 2013 (thanks for all of it Greg)

Mastered by Roy Ota at Estudios Sol Naciente, Quilmes, Buenos Aires, Argentina. June 2015 (thank you Roy!)
Facebook: Roy Ota Audio

thanks bung house for letting us ruin your cookout.
"3km from Bung's Home"



all rights reserved


french in van Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Summer 2012 - Fall 2013, roughly. We’re done for.

for talking:

thank you!

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Track Name: work in morning
Fake a frostbite just to get inside and I'll fake sympathize to meet the same ends. I'll tiptoe to the bathroom and shove myself in with the tiles, while you lie awake. How am I still awake? While you lie awake, am I not awake? How am I not awake?

Just to say I'm tired so you empathize and twist on my neck. I'm lockjaw in the bathroom. I got sick of wasting your time, while I'm not awake. How am I not awake? Am I not awake? How am I still awake?

I guess that's how this goes. I'm still kind of snot-nosed from poptarts and pornos you'd told me I'd hate. Though these kids aren't all weirdos, it's ice melt that refroze. You're always so shallow and I'm walking on tiptoes. And I've always been snot-nosed. These split ends on corn rows. We ripped off our clothes as fast as your car goes, and something was exposed as fat as your ego.

I guess that's how this goes; my body in repose and I won't fall asleep.

The snow's on the sidewalk tonight. There's snow on the sidewalk tonight.
Track Name: bande dessinée, comme les panneaux
It must be subtlety that's leaving me replete. Of course I ought to be more subtle than that, but it's better for me if we don't talk, and I'd never let you find me underneath... Between cracks in the pavement and these wrinkles in my sheets.

I'd feel great all the time if I could call to mind the corners of your mouth as you make that certain smile. I should try to be more subtle, but no one's listening. No one's even around. No one's heart is breaking.

As though anything depended on that. I could be more subtle than that. I could pretend you'll move towards my face. You still think you can't put me down. But I'm lying all the same. It's still the same. It's always the same. Something's the same. Everything's always the same.

I'd like to think that there are houses, houses that I know. Or then again I don't.

I'll stall on the phone. I'll get off the floor. I'll try and stop myself tonight. For the first time, I'll drive somewhere else. My car can't warm me up. You can't - I can't warm you up, again.

It's the only form of consolation my constitution could stand right now, but I can hardly stand right now. And my sweaty hands, I'm wasting away again. You won't have the time to sleep or notice me. I'll take plenty of time.
Track Name: ty gets cursed
A haircut on your front lawn when I'm half gone, and you're still gone and everyone else is still inside tonight.

Here's where I wake up all over again still in my clothes. Your floor's still cold. I'm not that cold. I don't think that I'll stay over tonight.

I'm always fishing for compliments
Half the time you're right
I guess I'm finished with compliments tonight.

I'm reading in my head. It's always starting to rain at 3am. It's 3am and I don't know quite where the moon is. Concentrate your eyes on the ceiling. I've been up all night shaking. Or at least for the last six minutes again.

I'm bleeding in my bed. You're always starting to shake at 3am. And I don't know what this restlessness is. Or if it's anything at all.
Track Name: d stole my french press
For something tried and true,
once I get tired of you,
or tired all the same,
I'm tired all the time.

I'm falling over me
or falling over you,
I'm falling all the same
I'm falling all the time.

Your speaking lips, you'll move again… a supplication all the same.

Here's my hand. Take my hand. Break my wrist. Cut my throat. Hold my hand. Don't try to hold my hand. Oh when did I start?

But I won't say a word. You're who I feign indifference towards. You're who I pretend to be. What I should have known's a bit too close to what I pretend to see. My freezing lips, won't move again, a suffocation all the same, narrow and solitary.

Where's my hand? Take my neck. Find my name in your phone on the floor after everyone else is still asleep.

Oh my god, have I always been like this?

I can hardly remember how it used to be. As your speaking lips stagger slightly, it's my suffocation all the same. Tell me something else, just not tonight.

This party's great but I'll just finish my beer and sleep instead. Uncurious and insincere I just want to go sleep. In someone else's bed. In someone else's room. Feeling someone else's skin. I think I'll just go to sleep tonight instead.
Track Name: goon sack
You'll return breathless where I'll remember everything at once and I'll stand on the curb holding my mattress pad and everything else.

When the weight of everything equals the weight of what you'd said and when there's nothing else around me, and when I think that at least we're even.

My arms and my hands and my neck are tied but I'll keep pretending the ice in the air won't rip through my skin and my mouth and my ribs. Just make me so cold that you no longer care. I know.

By now I'm gone. By now I'm always so cold. By now I'm gone. By now I've always been cold.
Track Name: brum han
It's high time I lose track of things or maybe just let go and get lost. I fumble for your zipper for a bra strap for the life-boats with greedy hands and squinted eyes. When this relationship is over, I'll be sucking up water from the sea.

It's not too late, I'm just too awake and I can feel your eyes on my shoulders like last year. I'm too scared to sleep. Please don't put out
the light in here because I'm so certain I won't sleep tonight.

It's high time I lose track of you or maybe just let go and pass out. I fumbled for your zipper for a bra strap for the life of me with greedy hands and half-shut eyes. When this god damned trip is over, I'll be waking up at the bottom of the sea.
Track Name: sippy downs
Tell me a joke. Tell me not to do this and what you'll need from me. Call me a joke. Tell me that I'm worthless that I don't get it. Tell me in the front seat of my car where I'll get upset. Take it as an insult because you don't know how.

It's the way you always whispered. Or the way you looked last winter. And I still shiver. But you don't get it. And you'll regret it.

I can only see so far from the backseat of this car. It's burning up with me inside.
Tell me a joke. Call me a joke. Drive me back on the highway where I still cringe at roadkill, at dead deer, at roadkill.

You're in your den and I'll stay east this time. I'm sure I said not to tell me if you regret it. And I'm not cringing. I'm sure that I'm just retching.
Track Name: peppermint
I'm to melt diamonds. You'll wake me up again and make me swear it.

My old habits are all bad habits I guess. And I've been wasting time in the bathroom I guess. And D told me that you'd have issues but I'd guessed. Yeah, I'd guessed.

I'm to melt diamonds. You'll wake me up again and make me swear it.

I'll forget what you said, but I'll find it written down.